


Asphodels

by Starysky205



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types, Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan
Genre: Angst?, But not exactly, Hanahaki Disease, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Maybe - Freeform, Not Canon Compliant, bc it's a curse, just because, love is complicated TM, misunderstandings due to misinformation, not-so-onsided attraction, particularly when there's magic involved, pinning, re-do sort of, the boys are dense, the shadows are now somewhat sapient, they confess in the end, time-skips
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-11
Updated: 2020-07-04
Packaged: 2021-03-02 20:01:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 13,615
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24122530
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Starysky205/pseuds/Starysky205
Summary: He’s no stranger to love that goes nowhere, love untold, unheard, unmentioned, and always, always, unrequited; no stranger to its sting, its burn, and its bite. But never had it hit him like this.And still, he keeps it stubbornly close to his chest, unspoken, and deadly.
Relationships: Jason Grace & Leo Valdez, Leo Valdez & Hazel Levesque, Nico di Angelo & Hazel Levesque, Nico di Angelo & Leo Valdez, Nico di Angelo & Reyna Avila Ramírez-Arellano, Nico di Angelo/Leo Valdez, Other Background Relationships - Relationship, Piper McLean & Leo Valdez
Comments: 45
Kudos: 131





	1. Difficulty breathing

**Author's Note:**

> [**Corinnamariedrawsstuff**](https://corinnamariedrawsstuff.tumblr.com/)made a [drawing](https://corinnamariedrawsstuff.tumblr.com/post/187562735963/a-valdangelo-hanahaki-au) of a Valdangelo Hanahaki au, and I was instantly KO’d with the need to create.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys like this.

The first contact he had with the demi world was during a cloudy night, while on the road, and he’s not sure if it actually happened until much later. He remembers fear first, instincts pushing him to run as fast as his feet would carry, and faster yet; he also remembers the smell of greasy food, and neon yellow, and actual cold.

Leo wakes up panting on a dark room in what his mind thinks is the Wilderness school, and he swears there’s a moment of static, where the fact that he knows this information confuses him, but the moment is gone in his next breath; he finds himself at a loss for why he woke up in the middle of the night, but is too tired to really give it much thought.

It is in the middle of the quest to save Piper’s dad that Leo remembers, somewhere between monster fights, and planning, and reading maps, and cooking, and fighting again. He’s unsure what causes it, but he’s suddenly attacked with a vivid image, pale skin bathed in moonlight, impossibly dark eyes, an accented voice, and a stubborn but unmistakable feeling of safety.

The first petals are hard to make out, wrinkly and dyed red with his blood as they are, he theorizes, a while after, when the situation finally clicks, that the reason is that he doesn’t remember enough like to really think about _him_.

Sometimes the powers holding his mind hostage make the memory fizzle, and Leo’s left with an odd feeling of detachment, almost like an aftertaste; other times the thought is so persistent, Leo has to pull every trick in the book to hold it down until he’s out of sight. He might not yet know what the disease is, or why it comes only when he remembers that one instance; but it feels personal, something almost possessive, bitter like an expected defeat.

Leo comes to the realization that he doesn’t actually know anything about mystery boy other than the general impression their past encounter left him, and he doesn’t dare try to make the memory clearer because the current state of his little curse is already making things complicated. He does make that discovery though, that it is a curse, and not some sort of weird disease from his ichor tainted blood.

He learns that from a child of Hecate whose name he isn’t told and doesn’t ask, one who only knows there’s a curse on his body but not the details, this they clarify to Leo before agreeing to keep it quiet, because they too see the curse as something private.

Eventually, inevitably, he meets _him_ , and is almost instantly caught in a tug-of-war between actual memory and what Juno wanted him to think real; he knows he isn’t the only one affected by the disparity, but in order to talk about it he’d have to tell them about the curse. He gets a name carved into his brain, familiar and not in tandem, and with that contradiction, he gets his first whole flower; less bloodied that its predecessors, or the ones that’ll come next, it’s easier to make out.

Leo isn’t a flower expert, so he still has to sneak the question around, if only to get some sort of direction; and he thinks them incredibly fitting even before he learns about their place in mythology, the flower’s very real connection to _him_.

He thinks _he_ goes investigate something, possibly about the roman camp, but disappears into thin air without a word; people claim this to be normal, Leo, despite himself, still worries.

He throws himself into building the Argo II, and allows himself to ponder about his place in the prophecy, because even that is safer than thinking about _him_. Though Leo does believe the last line to have been specifically about him, ‘a promise kept with a dying breath’, with flowers blooming on his lungs, it’s only a matter of what the promise will be. 


	2. Shared secret

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Teeny-tiny differences produced by the connection Leo has with his “mystery boy”. Somebody please remind me how the save/not-save Nico debacle gets solved, it’s been ages.   
> My concept of time is faulty on the best days, imagine now, when I don’t have a specific schedule; there’s no way I can guarantee any sort of consistency to updating this.

Being possessed is hard to describe, particularly when he isn’t exactly conscious for most of it; but he’s present enough to be left with an acid aftertaste similar to vomiting, whole body shaking as he drops to the ground. And he’s coughing violently, on his knees as he fights to breathe; only for that moment, he isn’t on top of the ship he built with his own two hands, but somewhere else entirely, cramped, dark, cold, and suffocating.

When he comes back there’s a girl dressed like those pictures of romans in museums, only her purple t-shirt has a print claiming ‘Camp Jupiter’; he only has enough time to crush the flowers with his fists, but he’s still covered in blood. Luckily, this helps sell the fact that he was indeed possessed to her, and makes the expression on Percy’s face less hostile; they still have to leave in a bit of a hurry though, because the Romans are less easily swayed.

When the eidolons show up again, this time to take over the team’s two most powerful fighters, and there’s not a drop of blood from either, suspicion rises; but Leo plays the confused card for all it’s worth, and it works because they eventually let it go, thank everything holy.

He gets transported back to whatever hellhole he experienced back then that night, and he only just manages to cough into a bucket, an addition due to some people in the ship not taking to the sea kindly.

He’s still haunted by that one vision, of being trapped without air, light, or warmth, somewhere small; he learns why during a heated discussion, one where the other six throw the subject around like they aren’t arguing about a living breathing human. Leo isn’t sure how he keeps his fire down, as he stands stubbornly on Hazel’s side throughout the entire thing, un-swayed by the things the others bring to the table.

Thankfully, they do end up deciding to go help the poor boy, and it’s only when everyone disperses that Leo is hit with the realization that he would’ve gone save _him_ regardless. That thought takes root in his brain, as it’s only natural that he’d wound up bent over by a coughing fit; only, this time, someone else sees.

To her credit, Hazel does not scream upon seeing him covered in blood and flowers on the floor; though she does look understandably paler. But she does ask in the most ridiculous way.

"What was that?"

And because Leo is tired, and shaken from all the coughing, and lightheaded for the blood loss, he responds ridiculously too.

"Asphodels"

Hazel frowns at him and Leo shrugs, pulling a clean rag from his belt to wipe the blood off his lips.

“That’s not what I meant”

Leo sighs, he’s been successfully keeping this hidden for who knows how long, specifically because there was no way to brush off flowers coming out of his mouth; so he resigns himself to be honest, however…

“You can’t tell anyone, particularly not now”

Hazel bites her lips but nods, clearly realizing how bad spreading this would be to the whole ‘rescue her brother’ thing; considering why Leo’s choking on asphodels, of all flowers. Leo takes a deep steadying breath, and starts explaining what he knows; it’s all based on experience, because this is a curse, and thus there are no guides unless Leo finds whoever put it on him in the first place.


	3. Twice-met (part 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time skipping because all that happens is book stuff, only Hazel and Leo sometimes disappear together because of the curse, and Leo is a lot quieter than in cannon; also a lot more focused on getting to Rome.  
> There’s no in-plot reason for the shadows growing semi-sapient planned, I just like the thought of them being friendly; nothing to it.

Leo’s an ever burning flame, constantly running at a temperature than on anyone else would be feverish, it stems from the fire coursing through his veins. Nico is his opposite, so cold even Leo can feel it, but not the way Khione had been cold, or anything natural could be cold; powerful, and seemingly set on cooling Leo down as opposed to absorbing his heat.

He learns this as they move Nico to the infirmary room on the Argo II, and he helps Hazel and Coach Hedge keeping him in bed for the first few days. Nico suffers from some nasty nightmares, and sometimes the shadows around him go wild and seem to try and consume him; Hazel can’t control the shadows due to the difference between Pluto and Hades, so Leo tries to scare them off with a little fire.

It works in the sense that the shadows stop wriggling so wildly, instead curling almost protectively around the bedframe and legs, and tentatively around Leo whenever he got close enough, acting a little like a chastised creature; which was a weird thing to think. Still, Leo takes what he can get, and is glad to find the shadows keep calm even when he’s not there, though he’s the only one they reach out for.

If he were to actually keep the flowers, as opposed to throwing them away when there was no one to see, Leo was pretty sure he could’ve made perfume by now; a very bloody perfume, but still. He tries to keep himself distracted from it, but since he’s taking turns watching Nico with Hazel and Coach, that’s become a lot harder.

There’s also the fact that by now Leo’s figured that he’s been experiencing glimpses of Nico’s time in the jar. Which points to this whole curse thing being something bigger than just him losing a little blood here and there; not that Leo’s anywhere near surprised, considering nothing in his life had ever been easy.

So he worries, coughs more asphodels into brief, bloody, existence, and worries some more.

He wakes up in what looks like an infirmary, only the ground is swaying ever so slightly; there’s a satyr he vaguely recognizes dozing on a chair, and whispers nearby. The shadows around him curl up towards him almost curiously, which is new, but they seem friendly enough; which is not something Nico thought he’d ever think about shadows.

The shadows seem intent on taking him somewhere, by pulling at him until he’s at the door of the swaying infirmary, and the whispers he’d been hearing become clear enough to understand.

“You think he’ll be mad we kept him unconscious this long?”

Nico recognizes Hazel’s voice in a similar way to how someone might finally manage breaking the surface for air; the relief is such that he almost misses the response.

“I don’t think your brother could ever be mad at you”

It’s a familiar voice and not in tandem, probably a demigod considering the clearly familiar tone they use.

“Me on the other hand?”

A boy’s voice, Nico decides, a son of prophecy no doubt, either the mars son or the Hephaestus kid, though Nico’s leaning towards the second.

“But if you were to explain it to him, maybe then I’d be spared”

There’s a teasing tone there, a sort of comradery; clearly the two are close friends. 

“That’s ridiculous”

There’s a moment of quiet where Nico thinks maybe he’s been found out, but then Hazel huffs.

“Ok, ok, you’ve made your point”

The shadows tug at him again, this time urging him back to the bed, and follow he does.

Nico is sitting in his bed when they go back inside the infirmary, rubbing the sides of his head in either pain of dizziness; Leo can’t be sure from this far. He trails a little behind Hazel keeping a noticeable distance between himself and the other boy in the room, taking him in.

He’s paler than Leo remembers, a little leaner, the expression softer too; but the last one probably is directed at Hazel; he holds no hope of Nico remembering him. At least the hair is the same, still curling wildly like baby bat wings; and the eyes, still heavy with a sadness older than the body that held it.

Leo remembers wondering what exactly had happened that Nico could appear so old when he was so young, maybe one day he’ll ask; it’s not like he’ll survive very long anyway.


	4. Twice-met (part 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The interactions between Nico and Leo are different because the context is different, but I am trying to keep them as close to their character as possible while respecting said context; some things are inevitably going to feel off, because canonically these two interact like thrice.  
> Tomato soup is a whole thing, and I wish I could have some right now.

The very first thing he notices about Leo Valdez is that the guy is dying, and when his thoughts skid and he goes back to make sense of that, he notices the guy is cursed; he isn’t the only cursed person on the ship, but his just stands out more to Nico. The second thing he notices is that he seems set on making Hazel laugh, which means that she probably knows about the curse, and that they two are close enough for this to be the result of that.

As time passes he learns a little more, Leo sometimes comes alone, because Hazel gets sea sick and sometimes has to lay down because of it; this is something Leo tells him the first time he comes on his own. He learns that Leo likes to tap his fingers in a very particular pattern in between tasks, as he tries to help Nico get back on his feet, while verbalizing everything; Nico figures the talking is a nervous thing, though Leo doesn’t seem particularly afraid of him, just weary because he has no reason to actually trust Nico, the tapping though, seems more of a mindless action.

He still thinks that even after he learns it’s Morse, in one of the few times Hazel visits alone, which is how he finds out Hazel knew Leo’s great grandfather, and about the trip through memory lane the two did together. It’ obvious it’s brought them close, and he’s glad Hazel has the sort of friend who’d risk getting attacked by a fellow demi in order to let her rest; and the fact that Leo was cautious just helps Nico’s impression of him.

Nico’s become very good at differentiating soups, which is a weird, weird sentence to think through; the thing is, they’ve realized pretty early on that he couldn’t hold solid food down at all, the soups were just slightly easier, but he still couldn’t take all that much. He was getting better though, slowly, all while having to fight and take people places, and help the seven here and there.

He east best when it’s been made from scratch, he finds, as the ship does have the necessary equipment to summon food in a similar fashion to how camp Half Blood did; particularly this one tomato soup that was just a tinge spicy.

He’s actually going to the kitchen to see if there’s any left, which is clear sign of progress, when he hears violent coughing from inside; he gets in quickly only to find Leo on the floor, fists clenched and dripping blood, whole body shaking. For the first time, Leo looks at him with actual fear, as though he expects to be attacked over this; but he clearly needs help, and Nico owes him a lot.

He approaches carefully, as one would a wounded animal, and slowly kneels in front of him, pulling at one of the fists; that seems to break Leo out of his stupor, turning his face away.

“It’s not hurt; I just spit some blood on it”

Nico arches an eyebrow, unconvinced, Leo remains stubbornly looking away.

“Please”

He watches the other bite his lip, but the fist opens to reveal petals covered in blood, Leo still refuses to look at him.

“It’s part of this stupid curse I have on me”

He offers the other hand too, also covered in blood and petals.

“Why flowers?”

Leo turns to him then, quickly, a little like he’s surprised at the question, and huffs a breath when he sees his hands.

“I don’t actually know the answer to that”

Nico nods pensively, and then asks his next question.

“So why is it stupid?”

Leo lets out a breathy chuckle, and he gives Nico this resigned look as he finally sits down on the floor; Nico follows him, noticing that his knees hurt slightly.

He explains how the curse works first, telling Nico how it started with an unclear memory of a person, and worsened the more he thought about them; then he explains how he realized it was to do with unreciprocated affection.

“That’s the stupid part, by the way, the fact that I’m this gone for someone I don’t actually know”

And Nico, who still burns every time he sees _them_ being happy together, thinks of how similar he is to Leo right then; how he could’ve easily become the victim of the same curse that’s killing the son of Hephaestus.

Then, Leo bites his lip, and looks away once more, the tips of his ears turning pink; and Nico thinks he sees some smoke trailing from his hair.

“He definitely doesn’t know me”

Nico makes a decision, right then, heart beating widely in his ribcage: he’s gonna help Leo Valdez survive this quest; and, when it’s over, he’ll help him get rid of this stupid curse.


	5. Exchanged stories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What year does the whole war against Gaea take place on? I know it wasn’t anywhere close to the legalization of gay marriage and such, but like,,,

There’s something about having your memories taken, that makes you more likely to freak out whenever you forget something; Leo reasons this as he explains to Nico why he won’t take any ambrosia to fight the curse, not that it’d do him any good in the amounts he’d have to take it. Nectar helps a little, in the sense that Leo can last long enough to make it into a more discrete place to have his coughing fits; which is a discovery he makes solely because the curse gets worse.

And the curse gets worse, because Leo’s becoming closer to Nico; or at least that seems to be the causing factor, considering everything.

It starts kinda like this:

After explaining the curse to Nico, and slipping up in the last second by revealing the gender of his crush; because, technically that’s what this was, a crush gone terribly bad. There was a moment where Leo panicked internally, where the surprise on Nico’s face could be anything, particularly because he strikes Leo as an old-fashioned sort of person.

Thankfully, however, instead of getting disgusted with him, or worse, actually attacking Leo in any way; Nico takes on an expression that makes him look his actual age, tentative, hopeful, curious, and sympathetic.

“Is… is that ok now?”

Leo’s entire thought process stops dead on its tracks, and he blinks at Nico in surprise.

“Wh- what do you mean now?”

Nico looks away, face flushing slightly, which is only noticeable because of how pale he is.

“I’m not from this time”

And if that doesn't answer like ten different questions Leo had about the son of Hades.

“Like Hazel?”

Nico looks back at him, as though momentarily surprised, but then his expression relaxes; Leo wonders how much he knows about his connection to Hazel. Clearly he ignores the one Leo has to him, because Leo’s pretty sure he’d have heard about it by now otherwise.

“Not exactly”

Leo rubs the back of his neck.

“It’s sort of complicated, like, I’m not exactly out about my bisexuality, even though I’ve known it since I was like ten, because the system is cruel to queer kids”

He stops himself at the look on Nico’s face and explains.

“Queer is ok to use for me, since I’m bi, like turning insults into fuel”

Nico makes the start of a motion with his hand before stopping as though restraining himself.

“That’s not- the system?”

Leo blinks.

“Oh, I’m technically an orphan”

Nico frowns, Leo decides this has been a lot.

“I gotta run down to the engine room, but we can continue this another time”

In truth, he hopes Nico forgets that last bit of the conversation.

Despite everything, Nico does approach him again, once he can actually move freely, always when Leo’s manning the helm solo, shadows curling at his feet almost happily; and is it weird that Leo finds that adorable? It probably is.

He finds out that, as long as he’s honest with his answers and gentle with his questions, Nico becomes more willing to do the same, which is how he finds out about the boy’s own crush, that he’s actually Italian, and that he had a sister that passed away in battle. In turn Leo tells him about Morse lines shared through metal doors, about his experiences with both Gaea and Hera, and about his mother.

Nico focuses mostly on the Morse code, which Leo is forever grateful for, as he gets to distract himself with trying to brush Nico’s knowledge of the code; it’s something from his time that doesn’t give him a killer headache from trying to remember suppressed memories. Leo figures that’s why Nico’s so understanding over his refusal to use ambrosia.

It’s probably a bad idea, becoming close to the boy that’s killing him, particularly when the more he learns the harder he falls for Nico; but he’s already accepted the fact that he’s gonna die of this curse, why not enjoy life a little while he still can?


	6. Ignorance is bliss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I’m messing up the timeline, because I can’t actually remember when each thing happened, but anyway, Anabeth and Percy haven’t fallen yet. But they will very soon, so this is your official heads up!

It takes a while for Leo to actually talk about the boy who’s killing him, and only because Nico has trouble sleeping, and walked the length of the Argo II to find himself at the engine room; it’s not the first time he’s gone there, as Leo spends the better half of the day inside, but it’s the first time he’s found Leo there at night.

It happens because nightmares are common amongst demigods, more often than not being visions rather than simple dreams, so hearing someone wake up from one is normal enough, particularly for Nico, who couldn’t sleep; but it’s followed by violent coughing and he instantly knows it’s Leo, and moves before he can stop to really think about it. By the time he gets in Leo’s throwing a bucketful of what has to be bloody petals into a machine that functions by fire.

He turns to Nico like he was expecting him, which, given how he entered the room, isn’t very surprising. Leo sighs and drags two rectangular shapes Nico can’t name taking the one closest to the fire machine, and making a motion towards the other; Nico take the invitation curiously.

“How likely is it that I’m sharing dreams with someone?”

Leo’s voice is raspy but soft, like he’s handling something fragile, like a prayer; and Nico feels something start building in the pit of his stomach.

“Very”

Leo nods, and wipes his mouth and hands on a blood dyed rag.

“I’ve been learning a lot about him from his nightmares, and I wanted some confirmation that those were real”

He brushes his hair away from his forehead, looking pale, and like he gets about as much sleep as Nico, which isn’t good.

“What did you learn?”

He’s not sure why he asks, but Leo looks away from him as a fond smile forms on his lips, features softening; the thing in Nico’s stomach starts coiling. Unaware of that, Leo takes the bucket into his hands again, and starts talking.

“He’s a fighter, he’s gone through so much bullshit, both human and divine, but he still helps others, still puts his life at risk to fix things”

The hands around the bucket clench, and Nico feels as though his whole body’s gone asleep and there’s nothing but needles.

“But he’s also like me, fearful, guilt-ridden, and so fucking exhausted; too fucking tired for someone that young, never mind someone that good”

Leo stops then, sighing, and Nico almost follows suit, insides now knotted tightly, throat dry. He watches as Leo’s expression shifts into one of surprise, hand brushing at his throat for a moment before he lets out a breathy chuckle.

“This is the longest I’ve thought about him without chocking”

Nico tries to be happy, because this means something changed for the better, and he does manage to smile as he congratulates Leo and somehow gets himself away from the room; but his insides are twisted, his throat like sandpaper, and his eyes burning.

He pushes it aside for as long as he can, or he tries to, but Leo’s his friend now, and he doesn’t know why Nico’s suddenly colder towards him; so he does things he thinks will cheer Nico up, because obviously he’s going through a rough time. It doesn’t help one bit, not when he keeps being reminded of how close they are, how Leo will make time between piloting, making sure the Argo II doesn’t go down under them, and another hundred things he’s in charge of, in order to cook for Nico, or worse, build him things.

Nico sighs as he looks onto the small cloth pouch that was left on his bedside table, the room he’s sleeping on wasn’t meant for him, but it had been unused when he got there; inside the pouch is a small sphere of dark grey metal with a single much lighter silver line dividing it in halves. A little playing around shows the two halves rotate in opposing directions, and when Nico pushes them all the way the sphere turns into a silver dagger with a dark grey handle.

The rush of emotion he feels right then is nothing short of staggering, as he’s hit with an overdue epiphany that explains his entire reaction to Leo talking softly about the boy he’s in love with. The answer? Nico hates himself.

Really, two boys he’s had crushes on, and both of them in love with someone else; clearly he’s torturing himself. But it’s different because, unlike with the whole Percy ordeal, Leo’s special someone is a blind idiot who doesn’t even know what he’s doing; and Nico is so fucking jealous of him, because he’s gone and fallen for Leo.

It isn’t surprising, not really, not when Nico stops and actually acknowledges how close he is to Leo, how much he trusts the son of Hephaestus, with both Hazel and himself; and he knows Leo trusts him too, which just makes things worse, because Nico can’t pull away without ruining one of the few good things he still has.

He still intends to help Leo, because he refuses to watch him die from something like this, so he tries to swallow it down; ignore it again, even when his first try ended in failure. So when they start making plans for seeing the god of medicine, Nico kind of plans a visit of his own, he knows the others are focused on the prophecy, and will only ask for what they need to get closer to bringing Gaea down and saving the world; but he’s not one of the seven, and nothing says he can’t get a head start to the god and maybe find out a way to save Leo Valdez.

His mind catches up to him later, traitorously reminding him of how Leo had looked when talking about his curse giver, suggesting that even if Nico’s successful Leo wouldn’t take the cure. He doesn’t know what he does to merit being turned into a plant, but he doesn’t know a lot of what happens after that either; and maybe it’s better that way.


	7. Possible cures

Leo hangs back, feeling the familiar sensation of flowers trying to claw out of his lungs, turning around to pretend the cough is caused by something else, and making some sort of excuse; things are hectic enough that no one stops him. Asclepius doesn’t look surprised to see him, which makes sense given he’s a god and what not; he’s glad the god hadn’t mentioned it out loud, like with their other ailments, though.

“It’s called Hanahaki”

The god talks unprompted, not that Leo minds, since he hadn’t known how to ask.

“It’s a mythical disease caused by unrequited love, but you know how it works”

Leo shows his blood covered palm, where a crumpled asphodel resides, the god nods.

“There are two ways for you to get rid of it”

He opens a drawer and pulls out a small pouch, when he opens it an overpowering scent fills the room.

“You can pick the easy path, choosing to forget about them, but risk forgetting everything tied to them as well.”

Then he closes the pouch again, pushing it into Leo’s hands.

“Or you can pick the hard path, being honest with them, and risk a broken heart”

Leo swallows with a little difficulty, but takes the pouch with only slight shaking.

“But if you don’t pick one it will kill you”

Leo nods, the god gives him a look.

“The contents of that pouch are for your consumption, should you pick the first option, make sure to eat all of it”

Leo’s a little shaken by how tempting it sounds, so he simply nods again, and starts going away before he stops and looks at the corn plant in the corner.

“Could you, uhm, turn him back?”

The god looks pleasantly surprised, and with a wave the corn is replaced with Nico, whose pants and shoes are now covered in dirt, and who Leo has to catch when he stumbles from the pot looking lost. Leo gives the boy a brief smile, and then directs his attention to the shadows that are now trying to threaten Asclepius.

“Think you could take us to the ship?”

The shadows stop, and shake a little before they slither back, coiling around them almost excitedly, and the next thing Leo knows is darkness. Shadow travel is weird, Leo decides, but not in a bad way, just different from anything Leo ever experienced; but he doesn’t exactly dislike it.

Nico doesn’t know what to make off the fact that the shadows have not only gain consciousness, but have also become protective of him; luckily the only other person seemingly aware of this is Leo, who’s only interacted with them when trying to save Nico. Speaking of, Leo’s clearly very amused at the whole Nico getting turned into corn thing, though he’s making an effort not to laugh in Nico’s face; and Nico is a mess, because he’s not even annoyed, and it has everything to do with how Leo looks with a laugh laced smile on his face.

On the upside, Asclepius did give Leo a cure for his curse, technically two, but Leo hates both equally; that’s all Nico knows, because Leo’s reluctant to talk about it, and Nico can’t make himself force him. That is, until the fall happens, until they lose _them_ to Tartarus; and that is a whole other rollercoaster of emotions, and Nico doesn’t really know what pushed him to seek Leo out, only he does.

Of course he does, because it’s Leo, whom he’s been sharing everything and anything with, who’s the only other person on the ship to know the whole story when not even Hazel does; and because despite himself, Nico has turned this boy into his safety. He isn’t even a bit surprised to find Leo feels just as guilty for what happened as he does, maybe even more so; he knows about Nemesis, because Leo has shared just as much as him, because he’s Leo’s safety too.

He looks haunted as he shows Nico a small pouch with a very potent smell, shaking slightly even though it’s impossible for him to be cold; and voice barely above a whisper, as though afraid of how Nico will react to his words. And Nico knows Leo trusts him more than anyone, but he’s still human, and still far more selfless than Nico will ever be; keeping things secret because they could hurt someone isn’t beyond him.

But the loss must have shaken him to his core, because here they are; and despite everything, Leo speaks.

“What if I tell him and he hates me for it?”

It takes Nico a moment to realize Leo isn’t talking to him, it’s like he’s somewhere else, unaware of who he’s talking to, still staring at the pouch.

“Or what if I tell him and he only says yes because the world needs me alive?”

Nico wants to grab Leo by the shoulders and shake him while screaming exactly what he thinks of that, to try and make this boy realize just how much he means to Nico; that he would have words with anyone who’d even think to try playing with Leo’s feelings like that.

But then Leo swallows, and turns to him, as though capable of looking straight through Nico; as though he isn’t actually there. The next thing he knows is that he’s sitting on the bed of the room Leo barely even used, panting; and while yes, _they_ are very much gone, and yes, Nico did have a talk with Leo about how no one was at fault, at no point had Leo brought up his illness.

He ponders about the pouch, the one that’s indeed tied securely to Leo’s tool belt, real, and despite its size, heavy looking. And in that instant, is acutely aware of what it would do; remembering the reason Leo was so against taking ambrosia.

Nico doesn’t know which option is worse.


	8. Crossed wires

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One day I will sit down and write a proper story for the Under!AU, like actually get down and dirty with the complexity of that particular idea; and when I do it’ll be all over for you guys.

Jason is, by all possible accounts, lost for what exactly he’s getting into; which is not a first by any measure of the word. So here he is, watching as water gets died red from a flower his friend coughed into existence; and somehow that’s not even the weirdest thing to ever happen to him.

The flower has thin petals, each with a red line right in the middle, leading from the tips to the center, otherwise white as snow; somehow Jason finds it eerie, but that might have to do with where it came from. Identifying it, however, is decidedly not his area, though he knows a very short list of flowers it isn’t off the top of his head; so he needs help, but he can’t be obvious about it.

It boils down to what he sees when he first tries to approach Leo about it, and now that he’s seen it’s that more obvious that he’s sick; skin pale-ish, eyes sunken, noticeable bones, and a sort of tired energy hanging around him like a ball chain. He catches him only once, as he’s taken to locking himself in the engine room, where no one without some sort of heat resistance can get him; he’s speaking to Hazel softly, sees him mouthing words too quickly to be read, both of them looking grim.

Jason knows then that whatever this is, it isn’t something Leo wants broadcasted, something he would probably have none of them know if the option was available; and he feels inclined to allow him this one secret, though he doesn’t quite understand why. Still, he finds a way to get his answers without raising suspicions, even when the person he would’ve wanted to ask isn’t there to answer.

Pipper looks at the plant like someone a lot more superstitious would look at a murder of crows, the same level of wariness; so Jason is already worried.

“That’s an asphodel, where did you get that?”

Weirdly, the name rings a bell on Jason’s head, but there’s something blocking the information he needs, so he asks for clarification.

“Asphodel?”

Pipper gives him a very done look, Jason worries a little more.

“Underworld flower, focus Jason”

He gets a very vivid image of Nico holding onto an empty plate, while Leo serves him soup from the pot he’d just finished cooking, vibrant like the fire Jason knows he can wield, but that Leo so rarely uses.

“Uhm Asclepius, long story, I have to go”

He’s off before she can make any protest, taking the flower with him and throwing it off the ship at the first chance. His mind is racing, and he only knows two things, one Leo is cursed, and two, it has something to do with Nico.

Leo isn’t stupid, or at the very least, he likes to believe he isn’t stupid; sure, he’s done and said some very stupid shit, he’s human, but he’s not an idiot all the time. So he notices Jason starting to act weird with him, and then, he notices Jason acting weird around Nico; and those two changes tell him that Jason must know something.

He can’t know everything, because there has to be some truth to what Hera/Juno fed Leo about him, so Jason must be the type to try and help someone in need; and since he hasn’t approached Leo on how to get rid of the curse, or worse, to tell him to confess, he can’t possibly know everything. Which means that Leo starts avoiding being alone with him, more than he usually would, glad that it won’t be all that noticeable.

He wants to deal with the Hanahaki thing on his own terms, thank you very much, it was bad enough that Nico knows, of all people; Leo doesn’t mind Hazel, because she’s been nothing but understanding, and hasn’t pushed Leo any though she could’ve. Not that Nico has pushed him either, but he’s the cause of the curse, and Leo has no idea already; really, he’s playing with luck, and it’s a wonder he hasn’t lost yet.

But then, Nico is also probably grieving his own crush, and though Leo would love to comfort him directly, he doesn’t trust himself not to give anything away; he is jealous, of course, but he’s a lot angrier, he thinks, because Nico deserves to be loved by someone he loves back. Leo hopes Nico lets go of that eventually, hypocritical as that thought is, because if he’s going to die of unrequited love, then he wants the boy he loves to be actually happy; particularly when he knows his death will affect him.

Leo doesn’t like thinking about it very much, the fact that his days are numbered, or about the options he has for saving himself; he knows what dying will cause, or thinks he knows. Hazel would cry for sure, this he’s certain off; and he likes to believe he’s important enough to Nico for his death to hurt him, but that’s not a thought he likes to entertain either.

He hopes whatever he promises is somehow connected to the war being won; a world where the people he’s come to care so much about are alive and well… that is worth dying for.

Nico notices something he doesn’t think he was meant to notice, or rather something he had noticed but hadn’t really gave much thought to until something made him. Leo is good at hiding things after all, and Nico isn’t immune to this ability even when he’s been trusted with so much; granted, he doesn’t think Leo kept this secret on purpose.

Leo is avoiding Jason and Piper, or actually, has been avoiding them both for a while, but it’s become a lot more obvious now that there are two less people on the ship. And Nico knows there has to be a reason for it, because by how Leo speaks of them, he considers both good friends.

So he spies a little, aided by the shadows, who seem more than happy to allow him; and Nico finds they act sort of like Anabeth and Percy back when their relationship was new, which is something Nico remember as though it happened yesterday.

Leo’s talked with him about Piper, about a friendship he still isn’t sure was real, who was made to believe she dated Jason; just like Leo had been made to believe Jason was his best friend. He knows how the fact that the two have more or less pushed him aside in order to figure _this_ out hurt Leo, though he hadn’t said anything about it, because he took advantage of it to hide better; out of everyone in the ship, Leo’s confessed, they’re the last two people he’d want finding out.

But Leo doesn’t talk about Jason, not really, despite him also being part of the group who had their memories messed with; only when absolutely necessary. And Nico can only think it makes sense, because Jason fits the only description Leo’s given him of the boy that’s killing him; and Leo’s relationship with Piper explains why he’s been so adamant in hiding it.

It also explains why Leo refuses any healing that would affect his memory of the boy, because Jason is Leo’s link to the demigod world, the only reason he found Camp half-blood instead of staying on the run until either the system caught him again, or a monster did.

He doesn’t tell Leo he knows, because he figures there’s a reason Leo’s so insistent on using pronouns; and Nico thinks himself similar to Leo, maybe dangerously so.


	9. Affect

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I feel like Hazel is all of you. Piper was hard to write for, let me tell you.

Hazel wonders if perhaps her own curse is the reason she feels so connected to other cursed people; if so, she’d like to get Frank and Leo to spend more than two minutes together. It’s something they’ve talked about, Frank and her; though she hasn’t told him Leo’s cursed, only that he’s a good friend, and hopelessly in love with her brother.

She’s glad that Frank knows, because it’s nice being able to go to someone whenever watching those two dance circles around each other gets to be too much; but she’s particularly glad for it now, because this is ridiculous.

It starts with Nico, who’s decided to befriend Leo, and because Leo can’t tell him no without explaining why it’d be a bad idea to spend so much time together, let him; Hazel had been worried about it, of course, but Leo had assured her he had a plan for Nico to know about the curse, without knowing he was the cause. And Hazel had to give it to Leo, because it had clearly worked.

It had worked so well, in fact, that now, Nico was not only clueless about his involvement, but also convinced the flowers were for Jason.

This is something she learns from Nico himself, as he explains a nightmare he had where he learned of the cures Asclepius had given to Leo as options, and the consequences either option would have. Particularly, Hazel thinks Leo isn’t stalling simply due to fear of rejection, but because of that one line of the prophecy he’s convinced refers to him; granted, Hazel also thinks the line is talking about Leo specifically.

But, what makes this entire thing ridiculous, is that Nico, her brother, the boy Leo’s actually coughing flowers for; thinks, for some gods forsaken reason, that Leo is in love with someone else. And, the cherry on top, he talks about this with all the resigned energy of someone who’s heart-broken; because Nico is in love with Leo.

Hazel loves her brother, but she wants to sock him in the head, shake him by the shoulders, and scream at him for being an idiot; and he would deserve it, really. She does not, as she respects Leo’s wish to keep it secret; so instead she complains to Frank, who has the patience of a saint.

Piper is sure something’s going on, and it has to do with her mother’s area of expertise, but it isn’t because of her, somehow. Children of Aphrodite had an easier time noticing romantic emotions than others; and though Pipper didn’t have as good of a grasp on this as she did with her charmspeak, she could still sense something.

Something coiling almost snake-like around Leo, following him where he went, like a shadow, like an afterthought. Sometimes, if she looked at it when half-awake, it had the shape of thorny vines wrapped around his neck; and that scared her, because it was as though his emotions were trying to kill him.

She’s yet to talk to him about it, because what if he doesn’t know? What if it’s just another mirage put there to strain the relationship between them? Another one of Gaia’s cruel tricks. Things between the remaining six of them are tense enough as is, and Piper and Leo haven’t had the time to sit down and talk about the memories they have of each other; had they really been best friends? Or was that Juno’s doing too?

She knows Aphrodite isn’t involved though, because her influence hardly if ever takes the shape of plant life; sea foam, feathers, and on the very rare occasion petals, but never something as stifling as the vines Piper saw around Leo.

Something else changes then, not on Leo, but on the person he’s spending most of his time with nowadays; and then Piper worries for a different reason. _He_ hasn’t really given them any reason to be weary, in fact, given how Leo acts around _him_ it’s clear the boy’s done something to earn his trust; but still, something about _him_ offsets her, as though _he_ was guilty of something.

There’s also what happened yesterday with Jason, and how Leo seems to be avoiding him like the plague; which Piper has been trying to make sense of, because if an underworld flower isn’t some kind of omen, then she doesn’t know what is.

Leo spends his time working on his plan for the death cure, he’s told Piper it’s a failsafe, because out of the two destined to face Gaea, he’s the least likely to survive normally, but the most likely to win if he has an ace under his sleeve; it helped that neither wanted Jason to risk his life. The problem with the plan is hiding it from Nico, who gets this worried aura around him whenever he catches Leo after a particularly rough coughing fit; and Leo loves him enough to not want him knowing, because he’s sure it would hurt him.

It’s weird, knowing he means so much to Nico, but not the way Nico means so much to him; and he regrets their friendship sometimes, when he considers his options for how to deal with his Hanahaki. He considers the hard option, as he so often does these days, because the easy one isn’t even remotely good; forgetting Nico would mean forgetting Hazel too, and that would be entirely cruel to both of them, who have become Leo’s closest friends.

But Leo doesn’t know how to go about confessing, and he still has a plan to go through; and he knows he’s procrastinating it, and that it’ll blow in his face eventually, but he’s got no other ideas. He thinks of his father, and the words 'not good with living organisms', and then immediately, he thinks of Anabeth, in one of those instances they matched each other in the quieter parts of the ship, saying 'humans are social creatures' the way one may say 'the world is small'; secure and yet hard to grasp.

He misses her, and despite the jealousy that likes to raise in his throat like acid, he misses Percy too; though, and to be fair, he doesn’t really know Percy, just what both Nico and Hazel have told him. Still, he does, but feeling the guilt associated with missing them is easier to deal with than his other emotions; and healthier too, considering the momentary lack of flowers.


	10. Torn (part 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keeping the wiki page for Diocletian’s scepter open while I wrote this, and looking at that one picture of Nico just made me feel like I did back when I read that part in House of Hades.   
> I made a mistake, had to re-write this, now here we are. Enjoy!

Leo and Nico get into a fight.

It’s loud, and volatile, and the Argo II might have ended with a hole right through the hull, and ashes where the main mast used to be, so they stop in order to get it repaired; and that’s how the find about Diocletian’s scepter. No one seems to know what caused it, even Hazel who’s been spending the most time with the two is at a loss; finding the scepter, then, is not only something that will help in the long run, but also a good way to separate Leo and Nico so that they can cool off.

Jason is assigned to go with Nico, which normally would’ve been exiting, because Jason has wanted to go to Diocletian’s temple for ages, or remembers wanting to go there. It’s weird, dealing with the disparity between the memories Juno gave him, and the real ones he has of his life before he was taken away from Camp Jupiter.

He does send a message to Reyna that they’re going there, because he remembers their promise, however faintly, remembers being her friend; and maybe he wants to make it up to her for this whole mess. It’s the least he can do, considering he’s so different from the Jason she knew; but that’s the last thing on his mind.

No, the problem is that Nico doesn’t like him one bit, which given Jason was the first one to claim the guy was a traitor, and voted against saving him, is honestly to be expected. That doesn’t mean it’s any less troublesome when they are going on a mini quest by themselves, particularly when Nico’s angry.

There’s a part of Nico that thinks it stupidly fitting that he has to face Ερος, of all gods, when he’s fighting with the boy he’s fallen for; the fact that he’s doing it side by side with the boy his crush is dying for just adds to the whole thing. And while Leo is probably furious with him now, Nico will still do everything in his power to keep the curse a secret; particularly from Jason.

He hadn’t meant to snap at Leo anyway, to get into an argument with his best friend over something so utterly stupid; it shouldn’t have escalated like it did, but tension had been running high. It was really a matter of time before someone exploded; Nico never thought it’d be him, but Leo had changed him.

That made it sound like it was a bad thing, the closeness he had formed with Leo, the trust they had in one another; it was why the fight happened, because they knew each other too much, knew exactly what made the other tick, how to get the other angry. It wasn’t something bad, it just was, a simple fact; Leo had changed Nico, and he liked to believe he had changed Leo too in turn.

So when they face Ερος, and the god tries to force him to tell Jason ‘the secret he’s been hiding’, he feels something akin to rage but not exactly; because it’s not his secret to tell. So instead he confesses something else, the thing that’s been eating at him since that night where he found Leo after a nightmare; the one thing he can’t tell his best friend.

“I’m in love with Leo!”

He’s angry, and mentally daring the god to try coaxing anything else out of him; for all he knows, sharing this much might bring more trouble than it is worth.

“That’s the big secret”

He tries to ignore Jason, and the look he most likely has in his face; doesn’t think he could deal with his reaction, not right now, not immediately.

Leo’s the first on the shore when Jason and Nico come back, so he notes the scepter on Nico’s hands immediately; but the look on Nico’s face stops him from approaching. He does want to fix things with the son of Hades as soon as possible, because he misses him; but he also knows Nico better than most anyone on this ship.

The asphodels are still trying to choke him, and he has plan to confess after this mess is over with; which is why he wants to be able to spend his time with Nico, while he still can. But things hardly ever work the way Leo wants them to, and as they get closer to the House of Hades, and closer to their goal; Leo finds himself with little to no time for anything.

There might also be some weight to the fact that Nico now spends most of the time with Reyna, who’s joined their ship recently, and whom Leo is nowhere near brave enough to approach; particularly when he’s convinced she hates him. And when he gets a chance again, he sees Nico talking with yet another person he’s too much of a coward to face, but for very different reasons, guilt and jealousy like a mixed drink; and then Jason approaches them, so obviously Leo’s not needed, really.

He decides to concentrate on the Argo II instead, because trying to fight against fate has only brought him trouble so far; and maybe there’s a part of him that would rather have Nico hate him if his plan doesn’t work. Better to mean nothing than to mean something when he’s dead and gone.


	11. Torn (part 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Every few chapters I have to re-read my own stories in order not to fuck up the continuity. Riordan's descriptions of Europe during the quest of the seven leads me to believe it happens during summer, but the quest to save Juno happens during spring/summer? So like, not a lot of time passes.

Nico gets a window to finally talk with Leo, even if it’s for a very short time, as Reyna tells him they’ll start the trip at sunrise; and maybe he should be going to sleep, but he knows he won’t be able to unless he fixes this. But Leo isn’t in the engine room, so Nico goes looking, and finds him on the deck, leaning over the railing with Hazel at his side.

Normally, Nico would just approach them, sure that his sister will let them have a moment, but the shadows stop him; instead he finds himself in a position similar to that of his first experience aboard the Argo II, hiding as he overhears a conversation not meant for him.

“It was in the parking lot of a McDonalds”

This time though, Nico can actually see them, and so he sees how Hazel’s eyebrows knit together, sees how Leo’s face turns into a smile.

“I know, not the most romantic place on Earth”

He watches him turn towards the night sky, rubbing a hand over his forearm, and old scar his mind provides, and Nico’s heart starts racing.

“I was running from a monster, only I didn’t know it was an actual monster”

Nico remembers, running from place to place, scared and angry; remembers the boy he’d been convinced was a ghost.

“Fun thing is I don’t actually remember if we talked, if we did anything other than exist in the same place at the same time”

Leo makes a pattern against the railing as though distracted.

“But I remembered him, even with my memories scrambled, I couldn’t forget him for long; and then I choked every time I thought about him”

Nico needs to get out of here; the shadows at his feet seem to sense his current torrent of emotions, because they swiftly take him away. 

Leo’s honestly astonished when, after Reyna and Nico disappear into the horizon, Jason pulls him aside; though he does appreciate that whatever problem Jason has with him will be talked about privately. He’s internally panicking a minute later, when he finds out the actual reason Jason asked him to talk privately; because in the taller boy’s hands, there’s Leo’s blood dyed rag.

Leo’s hand goes to the scar in his forearm, a small line barely below his elbow, an action he’s been doing more and more often since he remembered exactly how he got it. He’d had his suspicions that Jason knew, at least some of it, but maybe it hadn’t been enough to worry him; why else would he have not approached Leo sooner otherwise?

Jason has a somber expression on his face, which doesn’t exactly bode well for Leo.

“You’re not ok”

Leo weights his options, and finds they’re a little similar to what he can do to cure himself; he can lie, pretend like nothing has happened, forget, or…

“I’m cursed”

He can tell the truth, and face the consequences; he needs practice with that one.

“It’s called Hanahaki, and I have it because I feel for someone that doesn’t love me back”

Jason makes a face tossing the rag into a nearby bin; Leo was going to throw it away regardless so he doesn’t comment.

“What do asphodels have to do with that?”

Leo winces, he had hoped Jason hadn’t seen the whole flower.

“They grow in my lungs when I think about him”

Jason’s face goes through a series of expressions like rapid fire, too fast for Leo to make sense of any of them.

“Does anyone know?”

Leo looks away.

“Hazel and Nico”

He hears a slapping sound from Jason’s direction, but keeps his eyes away.

“Let me guess, they don’t know what flowers they are”

Leo finally looks at him, and he’s massaging the bridge of his nose.

“Hazel knows they’re asphodels, Nico doesn’t”

Jason lets out a sigh that sounds a little like he’s in pain; Leo feels a little guilty about it so he shares something else.

“It has two cures”

Jason turns back to him; Leo’s hands goes for the small pouch still tied to his tool belt.

“Asclepius told me, it’s why I went back, that and Nico was the corn plant”

Jason huffs.

“So, what did he say?”

Leo sighs, resting against a nearby wall, taking advantage of the position change to not look at Jason.

“Forget the last what, seven months? Or confess and ‘face heartbreak’, pick one or die, the usual”

There’s a pause and then Jason makes a move like he’s leaving.

“I need like an hour”

Leo does not stop him; he doesn’t think he’ll tell anyone.

He’ll have to visit the new land of the gods eventually, if only to retrieve a cure that he knows won’t get used; but one he had given, as was his duty as deity of medicine. He ponders about the boy briefly, alive only by the fire in his veins, and despite the pain he was clearly in, still willing to save the one who unknowingly caused it.

Maybe it isn’t such a bad thing, that a demigod now has the death cure, if only because of who the boy is.


	12. The oath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Writing Leo’s POV allows me to slip Spanish into the descriptions, and I really don’t use it as often as I could; which is a travesty when I actually know the language enough to make it work.

Referring to Fleecy as opposed to Iris for messages has been a bit weird to get used to, but it’s not like it’ll be like that for long, as the end of the war against Gaea approaches its end. There’s no reason for her to think this other than the feeling filling her chest; but Hazel has learned to put a little more trust into her feelings.

Nico answers after a bit, looking about as breathless and ragged as Hazel feels right now; and normally she would not bother him like this, but this is important. She takes a deep breath, knowing well he doesn’t have the luxury of waiting for her, not when him and Reyna are risking their lives to get the statue to Camp Half-Blood.

“Leo made an oath to the Styx”

Her brother’s face flashes through a myriad of emotions before settling into a mixture between worry and fear; it reminds Hazel of how Leo had looked when asking her to do this, can’t help but pull comparison after comparison between the two of them.

“The prophecy”

Nico’s voice comes out broken, like he’s choking on an emotion he dares not show, Hazel already knows what he’s feeling.

“He wanted to tell you but… you know him”

She also knows Leo, knows that Nico and him love each other in an almost vicious way, stubborn as they are about keeping it quiet. Nico bites his lip, something dark in his eyes.

“He thinks I’m angry with him”

Hazel smiles at him.

“He used those same words, you know?”

Nico looks away, face slightly flushed; and it’s amazing that Leo can have this sort of effect on him even when they’re fighting.

“You should talk to him; the next chance you get”

The mirage of Nico trembles like light on water and then shatters in small sparks of color; she doesn’t move to call again, and knows Nico won’t reach for her either. It’s better that way, Hazel thinks, at least he knows now, whether he does something about it or not is up to him.

Leo thinks about balance, this is a habit he acquires after his meeting with Nemesis, after saving Hazel and Frank with the contents of that accursed fortune cookie. He wonders if maybe, deep down, this had been what the goddess wanted, to have someone else consider balance even half as often as she did.

Do children of Nemesis do this? Leo doesn’t know, doesn’t remember if he saw anyone on that particular table; granted he was a lot more focused on the whole mess with Juno, and building the Argo II, and choking whenever his thoughts strayed to Nico.

Anyway! The point is that Leo is thinking about balance, about the rules of equivalent exchange, and weighting the small pouch Asclepius gave him for cure número 2; what could he get for this? Would it be worth it to chance the god’s wrath over it?

Leo won’t use it, refuses to forget, not now that he has something to run to, somewhere to maybe lay down and rest, finally. Even if the other option could mean losing the closest connection he’s had with another living breathing person since his mother’s death; even if confessing means heartbreak.

It’s weird how that works, how the boy who’s most likely to break his heart in the worst way possible, is also one of the main reasons Leo doesn’t want to forget; that he values that connection more than he does his romantic feelings for Nico. There’s a part of him that hopes Nico does that too, value the friendship they’ve been building enough to maybe allow Leo to go back to him; not immediately, of course, Leo will distance himself to get rid of his feelings first, before trying to recover the friendship.

He finds himself in front of one out of seven bedroom doors, a small plaque with Greek letters he’d added almost as an afterthought so there’d be no drama over who got which room; and the actual placing was done by one of the youngest of his siblings, who knew nothing about any of them, again, for less drama. Leo does a pattern against the wood, a simple one that the person on the other side will recognize immediately; and as he waits for a response he gives himself one last chance to back down.

If he does this, then there will only be three people in the group of seven who don’t know about his curse; and Leo’s pretty sure Anabeth does know, but is letting Leo deal with it on his own, which he appreciates greatly. There’s also the fact that while Frank does ignore the fact that Leo’s cursed, he knows about Leo’s crush on Nico, which Leo knows because the boy is not subtle; which would mean that really, Percy would be the only person out of the loop.

Leo decides he’s weirdly pleased by that idea just in time for Piper to open her door and let him into her bedroom; jealousy is a weird thing to deal with. Piper’s room has been decorated with little trinkets she’s gotten during the trip, mementos from the many mini-quests they had to do in order to get this far; Piper herself looks tired, with a few barely noticeable scratches here and there, and potently real.

“Is there something you wanted to tell me?”

Leo thinks about balance, how he himself portrays it in his powers, the ability to fix and build countless things on the go, and the ability to reduce them to ash just as easily; creation and destruction, and how it might be related to how he’s still breathing despite the flowers in his lungs. Piper sits on her bed and pats the spot next to her, Leo takes the offer gladly, knowing he won’t last long standing otherwise; he also takes the bin into his lap, as a safety measure, which she blessedly doesn’t comment on.

“I’m cursed”

Piper looks at him, at the way he’s holding himself right then, before she answers.

“I know; it feels sort of like love but not exactly”

Leo lets out a chuckle, fingers tapping something against the bin he’s still holding.

“It’s called Hanahaki, it has to do with unrequited love, so that makes sense”

Piper nods, waiting patiently, as he’s clearly not done yet.

“I talked with Asclepius about it, obviously, which is how I know the name and how to cure it”

She curls and uncurls her fingers against her pants, waiting until Leo’s fingers complete their pattern again.

“But?”

Leo sighs, face turned towards the bin, but eyes unfocused.

“Out of the two options, the best was to confess and ‘face heartbreak’, but I’m horrible with romance”

Piper blinks, once, twice, thrice, and then starts laughing; surprise and relief mixing oddly together. Once she calms down, she gives Leo a soft look.

“I think you need to use your own words, but I can help you practice”

She watches Leo, fingers still clutching at the bin, and she has the feeling it has something to do with how the curse works.

“That’d be nice, but mostly, I need someone to make sure I actually do it”

She bites her lip.

“Why wouldn’t you?”

Leo makes a choked out sound, and then he’s actually coughing; blood, and asphodels. And when he’s done he finally glances at her, lips still covered in blood; looking haunted.

“I can’t lose him”

She grabs him by the shoulder.

“Swear it!”

He’s colder than usual.

“What?”

Piper’s head is reeling.

“Make an oath, so you can’t back down”

Leo frowns at her.

“Isn’t that a little much, considering what we’re talking about?”

Piper shakes him, only once as she’s just now noticing how sickly he looks.

“Not for this, not when it’s your life on the line”

Leo stares into her eyes, brow set, eyes searching; and must find what he seeks, because he lets out a long sigh.

“I swear on the Styx, that once we defeat Gaea, I’ll confess to Nico di Angelo”

Piper gives him a solid nod, and then she smiles.

“So let’s practice that confession”

Leo flushes, and there’s smoke coming from his ears; Piper thinks that’s a much better look on him.


	13. Like fools, like humans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so, obviously we’re getting to the end of the story, which means I gotta start planning what I’m gonna do next with the excess amount of time I have. Think I could pull of another request fic, but with Valdangelo? Or maybe just a one-shot collection.   
> Ok, so, the two action scenes; I picked these two moments from the books because they’re the ones that would’ve changed the most with how I’ve managed this AU. The werewolf encounter because I’d introduced the ball dagger saying it was silver; and the mock fight to please Nike because I thought it’d be hilarious, and give me some good content vis-à-vis showing the more childish side of Leo.

Nico feels… he doesn’t actually know how he feels; hurt that Leo’s been lying straight to his face? Angry that his best friend would rather play with death than get himself cured from his stupid curse if it means saving everyone? Worried about what exactly the oath entails? Happy that he’s the one Leo’s in love with? Sad that he’s the one who’s caused him so much pain?

The frustration he gets overall is, in the end, the easiest thing to focus on, because at least then he isn’t hopelessly distracted when the next attack happens; the frequency of monsters has been increasing, which can only mean they’re on the right track. He pulls out the small dark grey sphere Leo gave him as a gift, playing with the two halves, and even fully turning it into the silver dagger is doubles as; he’s thinking about the dreams, about how Leo was most likely not lying about sharing them, and notices for the first time something hidden in the design of the dagger.

The handle of it has a twirling line of uneven dents, seemingly with no pattern; only it’s Leo, he wouldn’t have wasted time on something aesthetic, not for something like this. Nico trails a nail over the dentures, following in a downward spiral towards the guard.

/-.-. .- - -.-. …/

Lines and dots, it has to be Morse code, only Nico’s memory of it is vague at best, and when he tries to remember it, all he sees thinks about is Leo tapping his fingers in a too particular a pattern; and that had to be Morse too, as well as the chirping from Festus, as though Leo breathed the code. Maybe he did, maybe this, like many other things Leo’s done since Nico decided to befriend him, is how he tried to tell without actually telling.

He did that a lot, picking at what he showed and told Nico, never lying to him; actually now that he thinks about it, Leo’s been almost painfully obvious, but Nico’s been drawing conclusions without paying him attention.

And just as the temptation to message _him_ starts rising in Nico’s chest, like it does every single time he thinks about the mess they’ve created, a snarl takes him out of his thoughts. There’s no such thing as coincidence when it comes to demigods, so when he gets a good look and realizes the monsters are werewolves, and sees Reyna struggling to fight due to their immunity to her sword, he follows instinct.

“Reyna, catch!”

The dagger slices through the air before he can really think it through, but the next moment the handle is snug against Reyna’s palm, and Nico has other things to worry about.

Leo Valdez was one of very few people who could truthfully, and proudly, say that they’ve been part of the world’s most ridiculous battle. Anabeth and Percy were clearly fighting back laughter at his side, Leo was too, but on the two of them it was nothing short of amazing, particularly after what they’ve been through; Leo’s only known Tartarus through someone else’s eyes, and even that had only been dreams.

Add that to the pile of things he would have to explain to Nico once this was good and done with, the fact that Leo was capable of seeing his dreams sometimes; though he had no idea as to why. Maybe… maybe they could figure it out together.

There’s popping right on his ears, and when he turns he finds Piper holding the cornucopia right above his head with a wide smirk, and then Hazel’s yelling something about popcorn, and Leo thinks this might be what mortification feels like.

“Thinking of Romeo Rosaline?”

Leo manages to pull a face at her while quelling his fire.

“Who’s Rosaline?”

Piper huffed, still sending popcorn to fly overhead, though with less popping this time around.

“Remind me to sit you down to read Shakespeare”

And then she’s off, as a soft breeze blows their way, both her and Jason are clearly having fun with this situation too. Leo has to run off too, when he sees Frank transformed into a cat, with his best attempt at a terrified scream, trying not to holler with laughter. He manages to loose Frank but finds himself stuck behind a wall with none other than Percy Jackson.

There are several reasons why this is a bad thing, like the whole fire and water thing, and the guilt Leo still feels about the fall; but mostly, he’s being stupid and jealous. Percy, who can be painfully oblivious despite being otherwise very sharp, ignores Leo’s jealousy by design, so he has no reason not to approach and try to get Leo updated on the next ridiculous part of this battle; only Leo must have been looking at him weirdly.

“Do you have a problem with me?”

Leo can’t tell him the truth, wouldn’t betray Nico’s trust like that, not ever; but he needs to give him an answer, so he tells him a different truth, one he can actually share.

“You’ve hurt my best friend a lot”

Percy makes a face at him that looks a lot like regret.

“Nico’s told you then”

Leo huffs loudly, in the distance he hears Hazel and Piper exaggerating what sounds like a game of patty cake.

“You make it really hard to hate you”

Percy’s face flashes through a lot of emotions before settling into absolute confusion; Leo may or may not be really fucking pleased about that.

“Thanks?”

Anabeth shouts something about mice being deadly to her, and Leo takes the opportunity to shoot Percy some finger guns and promptly get away. He doesn’t see what happens, just hears Percy let out an actual honest to god yelp, and when he turns again, he’s holding his nose, and there’s blood dripping from his fingers; Leo thinks a long list of insults while the earth beneath him shakes, and he readies himself for actual battle. 


	14. Reciprocated

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I’ve become very fond of this particular AU, despite and because of how simple it is, part of me wants to expand on it, to get down and dirty with all the details; but then I’ve never been good at that sort of thing.  
> You are allowed, and even encouraged, to scream at me in the comments for this.

There’s a moment of rest, right as they ready themselves for the last jump, in and out of the labyrinth, finally getting the Athena Parthenos into camp half-blood; Reyna had insisted they rest, listing every reason until Nico had no option but to agree. It’s then, when they’re taking the time to breathe, that the message reaches them; and then there’s Leo, translucent and looking like he hasn’t slept in weeks. 

“Hey, do you have a minute?”

He makes a face, and backtracks.

“Actually, first, I’m supposed to warn you that Percy fucked up and Gaea is now definitely rising, and we’re speeding towards camp as fast as the Argo II will take us”

He turns to Reyna then, though the tone suggests that he means this for Nico too.

“I don’t know why you like him so much”

Reyna lets out a huff, though she’s clearly amused by this; Leo turns back to him.

“Anyway, I wanted to talk because I made an oath and part has to do with you, and I need things to be ok between us so you won’t think I’m like out for revenge or whatever”

Nico wants to be there with him, wants to hug Leo; they’re both touch starved, and Nico is privy to how warm Leo runs, so the intensity of that thought doesn’t particularly surprise him. Leo runs a hand through his messy hair, sighing loudly.

“I was just frustrated, and never told you about me being unable to use swords, and-”

He’ll go forever if allowed, but Nico’s missed his voice more than he’s willing to admit; luckily for both of them, Reyna decides to put a stop on this.

“Of course you can’t use a sword, you’re a child of Vulcan”

Leo splutters, eyes wide, Reyna rolls her own.

“Your weapons are hammers”

Leo laughs, actually, honestly, laughs; it’s a ridiculous little sound, shaky, and breathy, and Nico wants to hear it over and over, wants to cause it. First though, he needs to talk with Leo.

“I let my worry drive me, but I still should’ve backed down the first time you told me to”

Leo smiles at him, and it’s still laugh laced.

“So we’re good then?”

Nico smiles back, unable to stop himself.

“Yeah, we’re good”

It’s chaotic, for lack of better word, everything that happens during those few hours in which it’s Greeks versus Romans, and then Greeks and Romans versus Gaea; he doesn’t exactly have the time to look for Nico in the crowd, or to do anything other than fight Gaea’s forces in order to get close enough to put his plan in motion. He sees Jason approaching from the other side, clearly on the same track as Leo, the words ‘to storm or fire’ probably ringing through his ears; or maybe Leo’s the only one this obsessed over the prophecy.

There’s something wrong about it, Leo can sense it, and as he sees Jason thrown aside like a ragdoll, fear makes an appearance in his mind; still, he has a plan, one designed exactly because he expected something like this to happen. So he calls his fire to him, as much as he can gather without hurting Festus, which is a lot since the dragon is also built to resist high temperatures, what with it breathing fire.

He’s actually pushing Gaea back, actually doing damage, when he feels something approaching, instincts screaming at him to turn and dodge whatever it is; but if he breaks his concentration, if he allows Gaea even a split second, it’ll be all for nothing. So he forces himself to ignore instinct, and fear, to instead put all his focus on making sure this war is actually won… the next thing he knows is heat.

It’s weird, because Leo is used to heat, constantly burning as he is, but this is different, this hurts, it suffocates him; somewhere in the back of his mind he feels his body being hit with immense force, but the heat is far more pressing, and his ears are ringing.

Surprisingly, dying is the easy part, Leo’s become very familiar with the feeling thanks to his curse, and when his sight returns to him, Thanatos smiles at him like the god’s familiar with him too.

“A smart little trick oh child of the forger”

Leo feels something in his throat, like a taste wants to make itself known but is blocked by Leo’s current status as dead; and he thinks he hears someone calling his name in the distance. The god gives him another smile.

“You’ll return to them shortly, but I would like to have your help while you are here”

He makes a motion with his hand, and its only then that Leo sees the doors, and wonders what Anabeth and Percy had felt when they saw this same sight; the context was different of course.

“A little reassurance, to make sure this won’t happen again”

Leo figures that’s a fair trade off, nodding his head.

“What do I do?”

Festus is still intact, curled around something, but they can’t approach the dragon just yet, not while there’s still fire all around it, and Piper is putting Gaea back to sleep. Nico feels disoriented, because for a moment, as Festus was falling from the sky, he felt Leo die for an entire three minutes.

He thinks he scared Will a little when it happened, because the earth around them is cracked, and Nico doesn’t think Gaea had anything to do with that. Nico had been trying to be clear with Will on the fact that he wasn’t interested, while still trying to not come off as an ass; and if nothing else, he hopes his little outburst has cleared things up.

Eventually, Gaea is fully down, and Percy gets some water going to quell the fires, and something moves behind Festus’ curled form. Nico stares at it, unmoving, until finally, Leo climbs out, clothes singed, but very much alive.

He thinks Will says something when the shadows take Nico away, but it’s not like Nico is controlling them right now; and when he’s close enough to Leo, he does the only thing that makes sense, which is hit him in the arm. Leo lets out a breathy chuckle as he rubs the spot Nico just hit, looking almost small as he finally looks at Nico.

“So, there’s something I have to tell you”

Nico wants to hit him again, because really? Right now? Right here? But Leo pushes on.

“Promise to keep and all that stuff”

Nico wonders who he has to blame for this entire thing; it’s not only Leo, clearly.

“Ok”

Leo gives him a small smile, tentative, he’s honestly nervous about this Nico realizes, actually scared. Nico remembers the nightmare, the worries Leo had about confessing; so he does the one thing he can do, he allows Leo to go at his own pace.

“You were beautiful when I first met you, and when I met you again, and…”

He makes a motion with his hands, something small and clearly borrowed from Nico.

“Even when we rescued you from the jar, I never stopped thinking you were beautiful, not once, not for a second”

He smiles then, soft, fond, and somewhat amused.

“But you were also kinder than anyone I’ve met, willing to trade stories with me, to listen me ramble, to spend time in the engine room even though it was probably a sauna to you”

He lets out a wet chuckle, the situation seemingly finally catching up to him.

“And you cared for me, in a way no one has since I was eight, and I-”

Nico felt something give as he finally moved, finally gathered Leo into his arms and held him; and Leo crumbled into him, crying soundlessly, as though he’d forgotten how to do it. His voice shook as he said the next line of words, almost in a whisper, only for Nico to hear.

“It’s you, like it could’ve been anyone but you”

There’s something indescribable about this moment, and Nico has to swallow a few times in order to say anything.

“I thought you were a ghost back then”

Leo chuckles against him, a wet sort of sound.

“When we met again you were another demigod, someone else who would avoid me over who my father is”

He’s pretty sure he hears Leo cursing in Spanish, but they can have that discussion later.

“But then you were putting everyone else in front of you like an idiot, and I just had to do something”

Leo pulls away from him, looking absolutely shocked, and Nico has to roll his eyes, even if he’d been expecting such a reaction.

“I don’t know how to make you believe me, but it’s you too, for me, it’s only you”

Leo’s crying, Nico panics and finds his hands holding the other’s face, and Leo laughs at him through tears.

“Sorry, I just realized I can breathe now”

Nico laughs too, because how ridiculous is this whole thing? Leo calms and then there are hands covering Nico’s, coaxing him to let go of Leo’s face, but keeping him exactly where he is.

“Hey, can I-?”

One of the hands lets go of him, to move for his own face, and Nico has the very sudden realization that Leo is shorter than him; as well as really close.

“Yeah”

Nico doesn’t know what he’s agreeing to until Leo’s getting even closer, and they are kissing; he does not regret it one bit. There’s a lot that didn’t get said that goes into this kiss, because apparently they are more prone to showing than telling; still there are fingers tapping a pattern against Nico’s hand, the one still held by Leo.

/.. .-.. --- …- . -.-- --- ..-/


End file.
